More about crazy…

February 12, 2009 at 4:28 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , )

I’m finding that writing/thinking about my mom triggers me pretty fast, so I have to take these posts in small bites.

Let’s just get to the nuts and bolts of it:

Mom married Max circa 1969. I was 5 years old. They were introduced by one of her sisters. He brought me into their bed within a few months. She didn’t argue at first, but later when it became apparent he was more interested in a child than her, my mother did argue. He insisted, she just shrugged her shoulders and left me to him. He took nude pictures of me. She said nothing.

She eventually left him. Why? Because he had been hiding money from her. She was livid, furious… and she divorced him. Did she leave him for molesting her 5 year old child? No. But she left him over money.

She would get on a subject, and she could NOT get off of it. It would go on for literally DAYS. She got onto the subject of his hiding money from her and how abusive it was, and how sorry for herself she felt. I was in my mid 20’s by this time, with two little girls of my own. I sat and listened to her …

“You just don’t know! I have suffered with him! He was so abusive to me! My life was HELL with him! Do you REALIZE how much money he had hidden from me?!?! That money is just as much mine as his! I’m going to get him tho, he’ll HAVE to give it to me!”

After literally over an hour of this tirade…I snapped. I just snapped. I was driving her home from an appointment. My 2 and 4 year old little girls were in the back seat.

I said “What about me mom?”

and she turned and looked at me, “what do you mean?”

I said, “What about what Max did to ME, mom?”

She turned to look out the window and said “Oh, THAT. That’s not my fault Lisa. I didn’t know he was doing it. You should have told me. It’s not the same. He’s ROBBED me Lisa!” and she began to go on again about the money.

Me:  “NO. NO. You were THERE mom. YOU WERE THERE”

She just kept on about the money. I got angry…angrier… I tried again to MAKE her talk to me…she used her standard “You’ll understand how hard this divorce has been on me when you’re older”.

I pulled into the next parking lot, turned to her and said “get out.” She looked shocked. Tried to guilt me ‘You just don’t understand what I’ve been through Lisa!” I screamed, literaly screamed at her to GET OUT OF MY CAR.

I drove away. She called her sister to come get her. I continued off and on for 10 more years to try to have some kind of relationship with her, but the only relationship she ever wanted was one where she was the center of the universe.

Next:  Spotting a pedophile at a distance…

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